Category Archives: Mischief in the Mountains


Mischief in the Mountains Part Ten

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine

I was at a loss for words. I was supposed to protect these people and I had failed, badly. There was barely even a fight between the elves and I before they knocked me out. Larry didn’t do anything to save those people but he obviously came in and saved me. There was no way the elves would just let me live. They would have wanted to eat me.

“Why?” I asked.

“Why what?” Larry replied.

“Why did you save me and not these people?”

“I’m sure you would like me to say it’s because by the time I arrived they were already dead, but in reality I just didn’t want to.”

“Then why save me?”

He leaned in real close. I couldn’t see his face still but his breath was horrendous. “I have plans for you.”

I was really uncomfortable with that answer but I knew he wasn’t going to tell me what those plans were.

“But,” he started as he stood back up straight, “I’m not going to tell you yet.” See?

I couldn’t even respond to him.

“Well,” he said. “Even though this conversation is very riveting I have things to attend to.”

“I don’t know who or what you are,” I began, “but I can promise that one day I am going to kill you.”

He simply laughed.

“I don’t think so, Wes,” he said. “See you later.”

Puff. He was gone just like before.

I looked at all the carnage around me and had no idea what I was supposed to do. It wasn’t like I could just leave and let everyone see this but the friends and family of these people were going to wonder where they all went. Even still, there wasn’t really much to identify anyone with and I’m sure everyone’s blood was all mixed together by now. I couldn’t leave everything like this.

The next two hours were spent cleaning up the entire area. Any left over body parts were thrown into a pit I dug and burnt to ashes. When I was just about done I heard someone walking up behind me. Relying completely on reflexes I whipped out one of my Desert Eagles and pointed it directly at the would-be attacker.

“Alex,” I sighed.

It was hard to tell if she was scared of me.

“I thought I told you to go home?” I pointed out.

“I didn’t,” she said. She was stunned; baffled by everything she had obviously just seen.

“How long have you been there?”

She just shook her head.

“The whole time?” I asked her.

“Yeah,” she replied.

“I’m sorry.”

“It was horrible.”

“I can you promise that this won’t haunt you.”

“How can you promise that?”

“I’m going to erase your memory.”


I flashed my beam of light before she could say anything more. After the light faded and she regained her wits she just stared at me.

“What happened?” she asked me.

“I found you wandering in the woods here,” I lied.

She looked at me like she didn’t know what to say, like she was confused, which was understandable.

“Who are you?” she asked.

“Nobody,” I replied. “Let me take you home.”

I brought her back to my car and then brought her home. When she got out of my car she looked back a couple of times and still seemed very confused. There was something very odd about her.

While I was heading out of the town I felt severely depressed. It seems unlikely but I have honestly never let someone die on my watch. I felt wrong. I felt really bad. I was going to make sure that didn’t happen ever again…

Mischief in the Mountains: Part Ten

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Posted by on February 12, 2014 in Mischief in the Mountains


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Mischief in the Mountains Part Nine

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight

I woke up with the biggest headache. To be honest I was surprised that I wasn’t dead. As my sight started to come back I saw there was a man standing in front of me. At least it looked like the size and shape of a man but my vision was a little too fuzzy to tell.

“Wake up, Wes,” the man said.

I wasn’t very happy that he knew who I was and had a very big advantage over me at that moment.

“Get up,” he said again more sternly.

I pushed myself up into a kneeling position and he started to come into focus. It was the same man that I saw when I was back in my hometown. He had on the same trench coat and hat. So, added with the dark of night, I couldn’t see his face.

“Who are you?” I asked him.

“Just someone who knows you,” he replied.

I wasn’t sure if I should be scared or not. Whoever he was he just saved me. I could see there were a few elves lying dead that I didn’t kill so he couldn’t be that bad, but the fact that he could just disappear in the blink of an eye made me uncomfortable. The last time I saw him he just vanished. It was a very brief meeting.

“I’ve had my eye on you for a very long time,” he informed me.

“Oh yeah?” I asked. “That’s creepy.”

“Nope. Just being observant.”

“Yeah, creepy.”

He chuckled but I could tell it was the kind of chuckle that might end up with him punching me in the face. Trust me, I know.

“You are funny,” he said.

“Some don’t think so,” I replied.

“No one really does, Wes.”


“You’re quite good at what you do.”

“What is it exactly that you do?”

“Come on now. I don’t want to spoil the surprise for you. I promise you’ll find out when the time comes.”

My vision was clearing up but I still couldn’t see his face. Something was telling me that I knew him but at the same time I had no idea.

“Are you going to at least give me a name?” I asked, not bothering to press him about what he was doing.

“Just call me Larry,” he said.

I looked at him a little disappointed. “Larry?”



“Yes, why?”

“Couldn’t you have a cooler name like Hunter or Slash, or even Bob?”

“Do you have a problem with my name?” He sounded angry.

“No, no. It’s great. Larry works.”

There was a lot of blood around me and I wasn’t sure if it was the elves or mine. I didn’t think it was mine but then again I was feeling a little bit woozy, so who knows.

“So you’re not going to tell me what you’re doing, Larry?” I asked him.

“No,” he replied.

“OK, then will you at least tell me why you saved me and these people?”

He just laughed, a very evil laugh that told me I was naïve. I can be very perceptive sometimes.

“Is something funny?” I probably shouldn’t have bothered asking.

“Wes,” he started, “who said anything about me saving anyone.”


I turned around and hadn’t been so horrified in such a long time. I have hunted a lot of monsters in my day and one thing was always the same, in the end I always won. What I saw when I turned around was what was left of the people I was trying to save. The elves had eaten them…

Mischief in the Mountains: Part Nine

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Posted by on February 10, 2014 in Mischief in the Mountains


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Mischief in the Mountains Part Eight

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven

There was a small part of me that had expected there to be more than one person but I honestly didn’t think there was going to be 10 of them. It should have been obvious, though, considering how many elves were there. Clearly one person wasn’t going to be enough to stifle their hunger.

I walked around the site trying to find a good path to go down to start heating up the beans. I needed to get them away from those victims and I had no idea how much time there was before they were going to start eating. I still didn’t know what I was even going to do.

On the other side of the site from which I started there was a path that looked like it may be a good one. So, I headed down it hoping that none of the elves had seen or heard me. When I was passing in between two relatively close trees I was suddenly standing right in front of the people hanging upside down. They were all unconscious.

“Wes,” one of the elves said.

“You came,” called out another.

“We were hoping you would.”

“We’re hungry.


“Thanks for the beans.”


“We want you to see this.”

So much for sneaking in unnoticed, and they got the beans from me. Not only did I not get to distract them, but they were going to get the beans anyway.

“You know I can’t just let you guys eat these people, right?” I asked them.

“You can’t stop us,” one of them promised.

“Haven’t you tried already?” another asked me.

“I really hate you guys,” I said.

“We know.”

“So, I guess we get to you guys doing ridiculous things and tossing me around?”



I charged after the closest elf and took a low swing at its head. When the axe was inches from the elf’s head it was stopped short by a giant metal pole. I’m not really sure why my axe didn’t cut right through it but then again, they were elves.

Before I had time to get over the initial shock another one of the elves came over and punted me right in the face. I jerked and landed right on my back. The elf that had blocked my axe brought the pole up that he used to stop me and swung it right into my stomach. All the air left my lungs and I gasped trying to get it all back.

I was really starting to get aggravated and I felt a surge of adrenaline surge through my entire body. As one of the elves came over and tried to drop a giant boulder on me I whipped out one of my guns and shot him right in the chest. He dropped the boulder and it crushed the thing like it was nothing. Once again all of the elves were shocked that I managed to kill one of them.

“Another one,” one of them said.

“There’s more where that came from,” I taunted them.

“Kill him.”

“Try it.”

They all flew at me and I wasn’t going to let them get the better of me this time. I swung my axes around like a mad man, killing one after another.

“Stop him,” two of them yelled at the same time. I was getting to them.

“We must.”

“We have to eat.”

“He will ruin everything.”

“You little shits don’t like being on this side of the fight, do you?”

“Time to sleep, Wes.”


I didn’t really have a chance to ponder what the elf said. Something hit me in the back of the head and then I was out…

Mischief in the Mountains: Part Eight

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Posted by on February 7, 2014 in Mischief in the Mountains


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Mischief in the Mountains Part Seven

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Eight

When I woke up I was lying on the ground outside with pieces of the house spread out around me, and the sun was starting to set. It was a new experience for me, getting hit by a bus in the middle of a house. I could tell it did quite a bit of damage inside but I was the only thing that passed through the wall. I was a little sore but I would get over it.

The girl was gone and it started to sink in that the sun was setting, which meant that the elves were going to be eating very soon. Time was very short and I had no plan. Well, I had a plan. I just don’t think it was a good one, at all.

I had to go to the store again and grab some baked beans. Knowing how many elves I was dealing with I cleared the store out. Unfortunately there weren’t as many cans as I was hoping for but it is what it is.

Before I could start heating the beans up I needed to find out where they had taken the girl and that was a bit tricky. I was told it was almost always right near where the victim lives but when they know we—paladins—know where that is then they will seek out a different spot. They could be anywhere in the town and it was a pretty large town.

The town seemed a lot quieter now and that was because right before they ate the person they had chosen they put everyone else in a trance just so they wouldn’t interrupt them. Not that anyone could stop them anyway. There were no cars and no one walking around.

“Where the heck are they?” I asked out loud.

“Who?” someone asked.

I turned around and there was girl was standing behind me. She was probably about 11 years old, with black hair.

“Oh,” I stammered. “I’m looking for some friends of mine.”

“Oh,” she said.

“You feel OK?”

“Yeah. Everyone else is acting really weird around here, though.”

“It would appear that way.” Why didn’t she seem affected? She didn’t seem scared either. Not that she was clueless but just not scared.

“I’m Alexandra,” the girl said, sticking out her hand. Even though I was kind of panicking I was impressed by her courtesy. “Alex.”

“Wes,” I replied while shaking her hand.

“Do you know why everyone is acting like this?”

“Sort of. Have you seen a bunch of people dressed like elves running around?”

She looked at me like I was kind of crazy. I knew it would be a long shot but Alex seemed a little more aware than everyone else.

“Yes,” she answered reluctantly.

“Really?” I asked.

She nodded her head.

“Do you remember where you saw them?”

“Yeah. I can show you.”

“My friends aren’t really the friendly type and I’d rather you didn’t come with me. Do you think you can point me in the right direction?”

“I’m not afraid.”

“I know but I’d rather you didn’t come with me.”

“I’m not good with directions.”

I let out a long sigh.

“Fine,” I said, “but when I say go, you go.”

“OK. We can walk there.”

“Lead the way.”

She started walking and I followed her. I wasn’t quite sure what it was but she looked very familiar. I couldn’t figure it out, though.

“You grow up here?” I asked her.

“Yeah,” she said.

“Born too?”

“I don’t know. I was adopted.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“No need to be.”

We walked for about five more minutes until she finally stopped.

“It’s right up ahead,” she told me.

“There?” I asked, pointing into the woods.

“Yeah just walk down that path.”

“OK. I need you to go now.”

“OK.” She left.

I walked down the path for a little while until I eventually came to a clearing. My heart hit the ground. In the clearing the girl was hanging from the tree upside down. The thing was, there were nine other people as well…

Mischief in the Mountains: Part Seven

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Posted by on February 3, 2014 in Mischief in the Mountains


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Mischief in the Mountains Part Six

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part SevenPart Eight

She was waiting for an answer but I didn’t have one. I couldn’t take her out of the town because we were trapped here, thanks to the elves’ magic. So that really only left us with one option.

“We wait,” I finally said.

“Is it safe?” she asked.

“Sort of.”

“Can they not enter the house?”

“That’s vampires, and that’s not true either. Seriously if you ever run into a vampire don’t assume they can’t come into your house.”

“There are vampires, too?”

Crap. “Yeah.”

“Wow.” She didn’t seem very frightened by the idea of it.

I shouldn’t have told her about that but in all honesty she wasn’t going to remember any of this once it was over. That was of course assuming we both made it through this.

There was a knock at the front door.

“You expecting someone?” I asked her.

“No,” she answered.

I walked to the front door and slowly opened it. There was no one there. As I closed it there was another knock from the back door.

“Crap,” I said out loud.

“What?” she asked me.

“They’re here.”

“What do we do?”

I just shook my head, showing her that I wasn’t very confident in the situation, which wasn’t a good thing. The last thing that I wanted to do right there was let her think that I couldn’t save her.

“We should get down to the basement,” I suggested.

“There isn’t one,” she informed me.

“Oh, OK, then. We can just wait right here.”

There was laughing. It sounded very innocent but I knew it was not. The amount of laughter was increasing by the second and that meant they had the house completely surrounded.

“We should run,” the girl said.

“No,” I told her. “We wouldn’t get far and it would be a wasted effort.”

“What then?”

“Well,” I started, but I was lifted off of the ground and tossed across the room, crashing into a shelf with a bunch of hunting pictures on it.

“WES!” she shouted.

“Crap,” I strained.

As I looked up there was an elf standing right in front of my face.

“Hello,” he said right as he kicked me in the face. The force was so hard it nearly snapped my neck. My nose would be bleeding any second for sure.

“Wes help!” the girl screamed.

There were a group of elves surrounding her and were picking her up off the ground.

“You can’t have her,” I said.

“Too late,” one of them said.

“We already have her,” another confirmed.

I stood up and went to charge them, but I was stopped short by a bus that crashed into me…

Mischief in the Mountains: Part Six

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Posted by on January 31, 2014 in Mischief in the Mountains


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Mischief in the Mountains Part Five

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part SixPart SevenPart Eight

The girl’s house was kind of a crapshoot. I know I’m not really one to talk because I don’t even have a home. Now I’m really depressed.

I walked up to the front door and knocked. It occurred to me that I wasn’t even sure what I was going to say to her or even what I could do. If it was just the five elves I would still have a chance but with this many there was no way I was going to be able to stop all of them. We couldn’t just blow up the town either, because it was actually populated with humans and I couldn’t reach out to Kelly.

I knocked on the door and waited. It wasn’t too long, though, until a small timid girl answered the door. She wasn’t young but short. She was around my age. Her skin was ghost white and her auburn hair covered half of her face. I frightened her, which makes sense since I was covered in cuts and bruises. It wasn’t a very welcoming look. I had tried to clean myself up as best I could but there was only so much that I could do.

“Hello,” I said.

“Hi,” she replied in a small, mouse-like voice.

“I know this seems strange and honestly when someone looking like me shows up on your front door you should probably call the cops but I’m begging you to hear me out.”

I waited for her to respond or run away but she just stood there, waiting for me to continue.

“There are elves terrorizing you,” I said. Honesty sometimes is the best option. “All the weird stuff that has been going on is caused by them, by their magic. They cause a bunch of havoc and then they eat someone.” I needed her to understand the urgency of the situation. “It’s usually the first person that experiences the mischief they cause. My name is Wes Parker and I can protect you.”

For several seconds she stared at me. Then she stepped out of the way and allowed me to walk through, which I did.

The house was just as sloppy on the inside as it was on the outside. There were no sign of any adults and quite frankly that concerned me. This girl just let a man—OK, fine, young man—in the house that is bloody and has an axe attached to his hip. For all she knew I could be there to murder her. I’m not, of course, but she had no way of knowing that.

“Water?” she asked me.

“Yeah,” I said, realizing how thirsty I was. “I’d love some.”

She walked out of the room and into the kitchen. When she returned she had a small glass of water in her hand.

“Thank you,” I said.

We both sat down on what could be considered a couch.

“So,” I started, “do you mind telling me what happened?”

She shook her head. “I woke up one morning and got out of my bed.”

I stared at her waiting for more. “That’s not very strange.”

“I was on the roof.”

“Oh.” That wasn’t normal.


“Did it stop at that?”


“What else happened?”

“My cat disappeared, and the kitchen was completely rearranged.”

“Did they make your parents disappear?” That question seemed like it stung a little bit.

“No,” she said. “I haven’t seen my dad in months.”

“Oh,” I responded. “Sorry.”

She shrugged her shoulders.

“That started about a month ago?” I asked.


“OK, then. That means we have until tonight.”

“Are they going to kill me?”

“They are going to try, but no.”

“OK.” Oddly she seemed to believe me. I wasn’t sure if I believe me. “What do we do now?”

I turned to answer her when it hit me. I always had a solution. There was always a way to win, whether it was setting the monster on fire or blowing up a town, but this time I could honestly say that I had no idea…

Mischief in the Mountains: Part Five

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Posted by on January 29, 2014 in Mischief in the Mountains


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Mischief in the Mountains Part Four

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Five, Part SixPart SevenPart Eight

The Elves were slowly walking towards me. They were getting close and my options of getting away were very limited. Fighting an elf is tough, considering they can do magic. No matter how small and physically weak they may be they were incredibly hard to fight, and given the fact that there was a whole bunch of them it was pretty safe to say I was in trouble.

The first bunch was within a few feet from me and it was seconds before they were going to attack me.

“Beans,” said one.

“Beans,” two agreed.

That’s right! I had a full pot of beans sitting on a fire right next to me. I kicked the pot over sending the beans everywhere. I had never seen anything move so fast in my entire life. All of the elves jumped on the beans like their lives depended on it, every single one of them.

I jumped out of the way and started running. I didn’t stand much of a chance against more than 40 elves. Running as fast as I could, I headed back to my car so I might be able to get away from them. It was a short-lived hope, though, because I hadn’t really made enough beans for all the elves and that meant they were going to be angry as well.

Within 20 seconds the first elf had reached me. Actually it was the giant wrecking ball that reached me. I know. It’s strange to have a random wrecking ball in the middle of the woods. That’s the power of magic. God, that was lame.

I flew through the air and hit softly against a tree, and then fell carelessly to the ground. Just kidding. The impact was so hard that my body broke right through the tree. It didn’t feel very pleasant.

As I tried to stand up a bull was running at me. It lowered its head, took my legs out, and sent me flipping over the giant beast. I rolled off its back and fell to the ground. When I looked back up it was already gone. I was annoyed.

From there it was hit after hit of something completely ridiculous, like a snowman attacked me or a giant fist made out of ice knocked me right off my feet. I couldn’t even get a hit in.

Eventually they stopped using things to attack me and started hitting me themselves. Like I said before, they used magic so each hit made me think I was fighting a troll, but with them coming into my reach I was finally able to make a stand.

One of the elves was flying through the air at me with their arm held back, ready to drill it into my face. Once it was within two feet of me I sidestepped and ducked so it passed right by. When it reached the perfect position I brought my axe in an arc over my head and chopped its head right off. It fell to the ground and orange blood spilled onto the snow.

No. Stop it. Do not feel bad for these things. Yes, they look like something from the North Pole and when they talk it sounds cutesy but they are monsters and they eat people. So if I don’t kill them you better believe that they will kill you. So you can shove your morals where the sun don’t shine.

All of the elves stopped running around and looked at me in awe. I don’t know why they were so surprised but when I thought about it the last time I faced the elves here they got away and I didn’t kill any of them. They probably weren’t used to being killed. In fact I’ve only ever ran into elves that time and another time with Drake—my mentor and trainer—and I’m pretty sure they got away that time, too. I was knocked unconscious and Drake seemed pretty mad about how it all went down.

I looked around at all the elves and they seemed like they didn’t know what to do.

“He killed us,” one of them said. I realized the one whose head I just chopped off was number three.

“How?” said another.


“What do we do?”



Poof. They were all gone. Sometimes I wish I could do that and just get away but I was left with doing it the normal way. I had to walk or run away, or drive.

I waited around for five minutes in case the things returned but apparently I had scared them enough that they weren’t coming back. It was doubtful that they had left for good but at least I gave myself some breathing room.

When I got back to my car I decided that I had to get to the girl and warn her about what was coming. I don’t think it was going to be easy to stop all of these elves from taking her considering I was barely able to get away by myself. That’s when it occurred to me: five elves eat one person. How many would over 40 of them need to eat? Gulp…

Mischief in the Mountains; Part Four

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Posted by on January 27, 2014 in Mischief in the Mountains


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