Category Archives: Hairy Situation


Hairy Situation Part Fourteen

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven, Part Twelve, Part Thirteen

I started to panic. All of the bears were dead and accounted for so it couldn’t have been one of them, unless there was one hiding. No. They were all dead. If they didn’t take her, and Bigfoot definitely didn’t take her. That would mean the agency did.

“Oh crap,” I said.

“Where is she?” Alex asked.

“Come on.” I grabbed her arm and took off.

“Wait!” I ignored her and kept running.

We ran back and forth through the woods for hours looking for her, but there was no sign of her or the agents. So, we headed back to the car, which was still at the park.

“I hope she’s okay,” Alex said.

“Me too,” I replied.

I looked over at Alex and became fully aware of the fact that she was covered in dried blood. We couldn’t walk out into a parking lot with her looking like that. It was dark out but I couldn’t take the chance that someone would see her.

“You stay here and I’ll go get the car,” I ordered her.

“I can come with you,” she tried.

“No you can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Take a look at yourself.”


I realized that it was dark and she couldn’t exactly see her own face.

“Just stay here,” I repeated.

I walked away from her, not giving her another chance to try to argue about it. When I got to the car I could see there was a piece of paper on the front seat. I opened up the door and looked at the paper. It was a note from Kelly and it wasn’t very long.


I can’t endanger you or your sister. I need to be on my own. Don’t follow me.


I looked at the note for a while, debating what I wanted to do. After a minute I crumpled the piece of paper and threw it on the ground. I was mad, scared and anxious all at once. I didn’t know if I should go after her or not, even though she told me not to.

I got in the car and picked up my sister.

“Oh my god!” she shouted when she looked in the mirror. She didn’t puke, though.

“Let’s get back to the hotel so you can clean up,” I said.

“What about Kelly?”

“She can take care of herself.”

We got back to the hotel, cleaned up and got out of there as fast as we could. The agency would be there in no time. I didn’t think I could feel any worse but now things seemed even gloomier. It just reminded me that I didn’t even know what happened to Mygle. Life can really suck sometimes…

Hairy Situation: Part Fourteen

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Posted by on August 8, 2015 in Hairy Situation


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Hairy Situation Part Thirteen

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven, Part Twelve, Part Fourteen

A sudden surge of something, I couldn’t even tell you what it was, coursed through my entire body. I tightened my grip on my axe and threw it as hard as I could. It hurtled towards the bear that was about to bite my sister, cut its head right off, and kept spinning end over end until it buried itself in a tree. The next part was really gross and I felt really bad about it: the dead bear fell on Alex and started bleeding all over her. It was a good thing she didn’t have a weakness for blood.

All of the other bears turned to look at where the axe came from and their eyes fell upon us. They all started growling in unison almost causing the ground to rumble. I didn’t wait any longer.

“Get away from my sister!” I shouted as I charged at them with my other axe at my side.

I took out one of my guns so I had a weapon in each hand. I threw down the two guns I had picked up from the agents because they weren’t nearly as good as mine.

When the first bear reached me I spun around and chopped its head in half. The one right behind that one I dug my gun right under its chin and watched some nasty stuff fly out the top of its head. I then rolled to the side and shot the third one. The fourth one got by me, however, and ran straight for Kelly.

“Kelly!” I shouted.

She aimed her gun to shoot but before she got a chance Bigfoot stepped in, grabbed the bear by the head and whip it around into a tree. Then, he spun the animal’s head around, snapping its neck. It was pretty awesome to see. I didn’t have a whole lot of time to enjoy it, though, because my sister was still in danger.

I jumped over one of the remaining three bears that so I could get the dead bear off of my sister. The thing was extremely heavy but I managed to get it off of her. Her face was covered in blood. It was gross.

“Thanks,” she said, half grateful, half angry.

“You’re alive, aren’t you?” I pointed out.

“Watch out!” She pointed behind me.

There was a bear with an open mouth right by my arm. I was stupid to not pay attention because it bit down, hard. I thought about chopping its head off but then I remembered how hard it is to pry something’s jaw open when it’s dead, so I thought better of it.

One of the other bears morphed back down into a human again and grabbed my sister. There was no way that I was letting him get away this time. I took aim with my gun and shot him right in the head. He fell with my sister and rolled on the ground. The last one was killed by bigfoot, who tore the thing’s head right off its shoulders.

“Gross,” I said out loud.

I ran up to Alex.

“Are you okay?” I asked her.

“Not really,” she admitted.

“That’s good enough for me.” I gave her a hug, even though she was covered in blood.

She looked back at Bigfoot. “I told you he was my friend.”

“I guess so.”

I expected him to walk over to us but all he did was take one look and walk away.

“Thank you!” I shouted to him.

“How come I don’t feel the monsters anymore?” Alex asked.

I didn’t notice it at first but she was right, I didn’t feel the monsters anymore either. That would mean that Bigfoot wasn’t a monster. What was he then?

“Are you okay, Kelly?” I asked. I turned around to look at her but I didn’t see her. “Kelly?!”

She was gone…

Hairy Situation: Part Thriteen

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Posted by on August 5, 2015 in Hairy Situation


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Hairy Situation Part Twelve

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part ElevenPart Thirteen, Part Fourteen

There was no way of telling if we were going the right way or not. All I could do was rely on Bigfoot, that he knew where he was going. One thing I was certain of was that he liked my sister, so I trusted that he would get me to her.

I began to wonder what his story was. He didn’t seem like he was a bad monster. He had plenty of chances to kill me but he didn’t. I had to believe that there was something good about him. Still, I did owe him an epic beat down for knocking me out twice.

We ran through the woods for what felt like an hour.

“How do we know we’re going the right way?” Kelly asked, mirroring my thoughts.

“We are,” I assured her.

“But how do you know?”

“Honestly, I don’t. But I think he does.” I pointed to the big, hairy creature running in front of us.

“He’s a monster. How can we trust him?”

“Mygle is a monster and I trust him more than anyone else.”

Kelly didn’t bother responding to me, knowing full and well that I was right. Mygle was the only one since Drake that hasn’t deceived me. He was literally the person, or in this case monster, that I really trusted. My life was a very, very sad life.

All of a sudden Bigfoot stopped in his tracks causing me to run right into him. I was slightly to the right so I bounced off of him and rolled on the ground. After I got up I dusted myself off.

“Do you think that maybe you could have said something?” I asked Bigfoot as I walked up to him.

He let out a small grunt but never looked at me. He was looking back and forth, searching for my sister.

“I didn’t think so,” I said.

Then, again without warning, he started running and barreled right through me. It felt like being run over by a truck.

Kelly ran past me.

“What are you doing?” she asked me. “Get up.”

“I thought I would just lay here for a bit,” I said as I stood up. It was a moot point, though, because she was already out of earshot. “I really hate that sasquatch.”

I moved double-time to catch up with them, which wasn’t easy but I did finally reach them again.

“What took you so long?” Kelly asked me.

“I was just taking a break,” I told her.

I expected her to smile but she actually looked like she was serious. She was obviously still bothered by the fact that she was probably going to die. If I had that hanging over my head I’d be in a bad mood too.

Bigfoot put out his arm out to stop us.

“Thank you for warning me this time,” I said to him, pushing past his arm

There was a clearing ahead of us, just past some bushes. In that clearing was a bunch of bears. I could have only assumed they were the ones we were looking for. They looked so normal.

“Where’s Alex?” Kelly asked.

“I don’t know,” I replied. “I don’t see her.”

The bears suddenly parted and there she was, pinned to the ground by one of the bears. The bear had its mouth over her throat and was about to bite down. We were too late…

Hairy Situation: Part Twelve

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Posted by on August 4, 2015 in Hairy Situation


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Hairy Situation Part Eleven

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Twelve, Part Thirteen, Part Fourteen

We stared at each other not really sure what to do. Obviously things were a little bit more shocking for the three of them because they saw us running with Bigfoot. That just isn’t something you see everyday.

A lot of the agents are cocky and think, despite the fact that I am a paladin and they are human, that they can fight me. Not these guys.

“Ah shit,” one of them said.

“We can make this real easy, fellas,” I tried. They didn’t want the easy way.

The one standing in the front took out his gun and aimed it right at my head. I did a backflip as he pulled the trigger so the bullet passed right by my face and I kicked him in the jaw. That was the first time any of them had tried to kill me before. I don’t know if that was their orders now or if he just panicked.

When I landed on my feet I kicked the one on the left in the kidney, dropping him to the ground. The last one took out his gun and pointed it at me. I was just far enough away that if he shot it might actually hit me.

“You have to die,” he said to me.

“Why?” I asked him.

“Because you’re just like the rest of them.”

“The rest of who?”

“The monsters. You’re just like them.”

“Okay, that makes sense. I’m another monster that has killed so many people, not protected them. Does that make any sense to you?”

The agent stood there, speechless.

“Why do you all of a sudden want to kill me?” I asked.

The agent stopped focusing on me and looked over to Kelly.

“As long as she’s alive she can turn you,” he tried.

“Yeah I know,” I began, “and there is no telling if there’s another phoenix somewhere that might turn me. Does that mean I should die?”

“She is going to die no matter what and you are in danger, which puts the rest of us in danger.”

“So you want to kill her? Go ahead.” I pointed over to Kelly. “Take a shot. Do it.”

The agent turned his gun on Kelly, which was all I needed. I started forward to attack him but Bigfoot beat me to it. He lunged from out of nowhere and knocked him right over. Then he picked him up and was either going to snap his back or tear him in half.

“Hey!” I shouted.

Bigfoot looked over at me.

“Don’t you dare,” I told him.

It looked like he still wanted to do it.

“Put him down,” I ordered him. “Do not tear him in half.”

Bigfoot finally caved and dropped the guy on the ground. When he landed there was a thud and a loud grunt.

“We have to take their guns,” I said to Kelly.

“Yeah,” she agreed. Something was bothering her. It wasn’t like it was too hard to guess why.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

I tossed her a gun. I then tossed one to Bigfoot without even thinking. It bounced off his chest and hit the ground. He looked down at the gun and then back at me, looking at me like I was an idiot. At least that’s what it looked like to me.

“I don’t suppose you know how to use that,” I said to him. “I doubt it.” I picked it up and just carried two of them. “Okay let’s go.”

We took off to save my sister…

Hairy Situation: Part Eleven

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Posted by on August 1, 2015 in Hairy Situation


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Hairy Situation Part Ten

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part NinePart Eleven, Part Twelve, Part Thirteen, Part Fourteen

I couldn’t believe my eyes. I’ve never seen talking bears in my lifetime, so I definitely have never seen them turn into humans. It took all of five seconds to realize that I needed to do something, but whom do I go after? I’ve known Kelly for a long time, but Alex was my sister. Plus she couldn’t defend herself as well. My mind was made.

I bolted through the bushes in the direction the bear-man thing took Alex. Right after I reached another clearing I clipped my shoulder on something and spun around, almost toppling over backwards. When I looked to see what it was I saw Bigfoot standing in front of me.

He let out a low growl.

“Wait,” I said, putting up my hands.

He took one step towards me but stopped.

“Listen,” I began, “I don’t like you and you don’t like me, that’s clear, but they took my sister.”

I wasn’t completely positive at first but it looked like he understood me. It looked like his face turned from anger to concern but it was hard to tell on an eight-foot monster with hair covering its face.

“The bears that were here took my sister and my friend,” I explained to him. I felt stupid talking to him like this but I really didn’t need him knocking me out again.

Bigfoot still looked like he wanted to eat me alive but he managed to pry his eyes off of me and began sniffing in the air. After a few seconds he stopped and took off running. I immediately went after him.

Even though he was large he was so much faster than I expected. I had to run at full speed just to keep up with him.

We were running for what felt like forever when all of a sudden one of the guys, the one carrying Kelly, ran out in front of us. I was very interested in catching this person or whatever he was because I was not in the mood to be running after a naked dude. Luckily he was much slower than we were but when we got closer he threw Kelly off to the side and morphed back into a bear.

Bigfoot went to attack him but the bear managed to knock him to the side since he was still running full speed. I on the other hand sidestepped just before I reached him, took out my axe and cut across his belly.

“You son of a bitch,” he said to me.

“Hey!” I yelled. “Don’t talk about my mother like that. Now where’s my sister.”

“He’ll have reached our pack by now.” He must have been referring to his other brother. “She’ll be dead soon.”

“Where’s your pack?”

“I’ll die first.”

“What are you?”

“A morph.”

I didn’t give him another chance to say anything and chopped off his head.

“Whatever the hell that is,” I added.

I walked over to Kelly who was slowly starting to wake up.

“I shouldn’t have let that happened,” she moaned.

“You’re not quite yourself yet,” I pointed out.

“Let’s go find your sister.”

I don’t think she realized that Bigfoot was with us yet. We must have gotten no more than 20 feet when three figures stumbled in front of us. It was three agents from Kelly’s agency…

Hairy Situation: Part Ten

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Posted by on July 29, 2015 in Hairy Situation


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Hairy Situation Part Nine

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Ten, Part Eleven, Part Twelve, Part Thirteen, Part Fourteen

A bear just spoke. You would think with the life that I lead that I would be used to something like that but I have never seen a normal animal talk before.

“Did that thing just talk?” Alex asked as she started to back away.

One of them started sniffing in the air.

“I can smell the fear,” it said. Their voices were deep and completely indistinguishable from each other.

“What is this?” Kelly asked me in a hushed tone.

“I’m not sure,” I replied.

“They whisper as if we can’t hear them,” one of the bears said. Right, animals tend to have better hearing.

The bears began to circle us, forcing us into a small space together, back-to-back.

“I have the feeling these are probably the monsters we are looking for,” I said.

“What’s the matter, never seen a talking bear before?” the one closest to me asked.

“Can’t say that I have. I’ve seen plenty of werewolves but never a bear; not ones that talk anyway.”


“How do you know that I’m a paladin?”

“I can smell it.”

“Okay, if you know that I’m a paladin then you know that I’m going to kill you, right?”

Suddenly, the bears attacked us all at once. Kelly started shooting but they were too close. There was nothing that Alex could do so I grabbed her and threw her over one of the bears. I then kicked the one closest to Kelly in the face nearly breaking its neck. With the momentum of my spin I pushed Kelly past that bear so that it was just me in the middle of the three bears.

Rather than attacking me one at a time they all came at me at once. I jumped into the air into a barrel roll, getting away from them. They all crashed into each other.

“Idiots, just like the rest of them,” I taunted. That riled them up even more than they already were.

They attacked me again, with even more ferocity than before. I imagined that fighting a bear wouldn’t be the most fun in the world but these three were very intense.

One of the bears tried to bite me but I grabbed its head and whipped it to the ground. The next one stood on its hind legs and let out a blood-curdling roar. Anyone would have crapped in their pants if they stood in front of something like that. You think you’re any different? Please. This thing had at least three feet on me. The only thing was that it left itself open for attack.

I took my axe and swung up, cutting right into its midsection. Let’s just say that its insides were no longer on the inside. When it fell to the ground it landed with a thud, kicking up a cloud of dirt.

“I told you that you were going to die,” I said to the other two, who both stared at me in disbelief.

“He is our brother,” one of them said through a growl.

“Correction: he was your brother. As you can see he is dead now.”

“We will kill you.”

“I’ve been told that more than once.”

Without any warning the two of them shrunk down to humans, very large and strong human size, ran and grabbed my sister and Kelly and then took off. I didn’t even have time to process what happened.

“What the hell…?”

Hairy Situation: Part Nine

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Posted by on July 27, 2015 in Hairy Situation


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Hairy Situation Part Eight

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven, Part Twelve, Part Thirteen, Part Fourteen

As if my head didn’t already hurt enough, it was twice as bad when I came to the second time. It was so intense that I puked the moment I woke up. As soon as I saw Bigfoot I was going to kill him for sure. I didn’t have to wait that long because when my sight cleared up I could see him standing right in front of me.

With what little strength I had I pushed myself backwards and tried to roll up to my feet but I fell right onto my back. I was still a little disoriented. I was expecting Bigfoot to attack me but he didn’t. Instead he just stared at me with his teeth showing.

“Wes,” Alex said with her hands up. “Just wait.”

“What is the matter with you?” I asked her. “He is not your friend.”

“He is.”

There was a rustling in the bushes behind us. Bigfoot growled and looked ready to either attack or run.

“Easy,” Alex said to Bigfoot, walking towards him.

“Stop,” I said to her, grabbing her arm.

“Let go.”

“What’s going on?” Kelly asked as she appeared from behind the bushes. She quickly noticed the giant monster standing in front of her. “What the hell!”

Kelly brought her gun up and shot at him almost immediately. Bigfoot was quicker than I thought he would be because he ducked to the right, so the bullet only grazed his shoulder. Then he took off.

“No, wait!” Alex shouted as she tried to chase after him. I was still holding onto her arm so I pulled her right back. “Let go of me.”

“No,” I replied.

“You hurt him.”

“I didn’t, she did.” I pointed at Kelly. I’m not really sure why I said that.

“Of course I hurt him,” Kelly defended herself. “I was trying to kill him.”

“He’s my friend,” Alex tried explaining to her.

“What is going on?” Kelly asked.

I felt like my head was going to explode. It already hurt as it was and now there was way too much conversation going on.

I reached up and started rubbing my head, trying to ease the pain as much as I could. It would go away eventually but I could have really used a Tylenol or something. It was really intense.

“What is wrong with you?” Kelly asked me.

“He knocked me out,” I told her. “Twice.”

“Is this your first time?”

“Shut up. Bigfoot is ridiculously strong.”

“I’m going after him,” Alex interrupted us.

“No you’re not,” I told her.

“What is wrong with her?” Kelly looked more confused than I felt.

“She thinks that Bigfoot is her friend.”

“Are you insane?” Kelly asked Alex.

Alex was desperately trying to escape from my grip but there was no way that I was letting go.

“He’s the monster,” I explained to her. “We have to kill him.”

“No we don’t,” she tried. “He’s not the monster.”

“Yes he is.”

There were heavy footsteps approaching us, just out of view.

“Great,” I said. “He’s come back.”

“I don’t think that’s him,” Alex whimpered.

Three bears emerged into the clearing where we stood. There were the biggest ones that I have ever seen in my entire life. It looks like that lady from earlier probably was attacked by a bear. I wasn’t afraid of three bears, though.

“Fresh meat,” one of them spoke…

Hairy Situation: Part Eight

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Posted by on July 22, 2015 in Hairy Situation


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