I wasn’t very eager to run around and chop the thing in half, and neither was Roy. Sure he acted tough, but he was just as frightened at the idea of a giant spider. Have you have ever seen how fast those things are? They move like lightning, even faster than I can see. Now picture one that is the size of a Saint Bernard. Can you imagine how quick that thing would be? Nope. Eight types of nope right there. I was going to take my sweet time walking around that barn.
Inch by inch we stalked around the side of the barn, terrified of what we were going to see. I might have been physically shaking. It’s called arachnophobia people. I’m not the only one that has it.
We finally made it around to the side, my heart pounding against my chest, but there was nothing there. It didn’t mean the spider wasn’t around. It could be on the roof or it could be twenty miles into the woods by now. Who knows?
“Where is it?” Roy asked.
“Shhh!” I hushed him quietly. “Do you want it to hear you?”
“Well, we do have to kill it.”
“Maybe it will just run away and die on its own.”
“Some spiders can live for years without even eating.”
“I didn’t need to know that.”
“Did you know that some spiders change colors to blend into their environment?”
“Yes. I saw Spiderman, too.”
“Just thought you might want to know.”
I shivered at the thought. I hoped if there was definitely a giant spider that it couldn’t do that.
We split up and circled around the barn to look for the spider. I didn’t really want to but you know I wasn’t going to be a complete chicken about it. I have a reputation to uphold, one that no one really knows about, except you guys. I really hope you aren’t telling anyone about this. This is all strictly confidential. I really don’t care who you tell.
There was no spider, none that we saw anyway by the time we met back up on the side.
“I guess we should leave,” I suggested casually.
There was a hush that came from the outskirts of the woods. It was a human voice so I wasn’t afraid. I leapt to where it came from and grabbed someone, pulling them into view. It was girl in her teens, maybe a couple years younger than me.
“What are you doing here?” I asked her. Three more kids came from behind the trees, two boys and another girl.
“We, uh,” she stammered. One of the guys charged at us.
“Let go of my girlfriend!” he shouted.
I let go of her and stepped back. The moron tackled nothing but air and ran straight into the ground.
“Sorry,” I said to the girl.
The guy got back up and walked towards me with his hands up, ready to fight.
“Please don’t,” I begged him.
“Shut up,” he said as he took a swing at me. I leaned to the left, letting his hand pass right by me and then chopped him in the neck. It wasn’t hard enough to damage but hard enough to stop his breathing for a second.
“Just breathe,” I suggested. “Now what are you guys doing here?”
“We came to get some of the web you jerk,” the other guy told me.
“You came to steel some of the web? Is this some form of redneck cow tipping? Kids these days.”
“How old are you?” one of the girls asked.
“Old enough,” I said.
I flashed my beam of light and wiped their memory of us.
“Let’s go,” I said to Roy.
“To the barn?” he asked. He was looking around confused. “We were just at the motel.”
Oops. Maybe I should have warned him before I flashed my memory erasing light.
“I’ll explain when we get back to the motel,” I promised him. And then we left, empty-handed…