25 Aug

Haunted House Part One

Part TwoPart ThreePart Three, Part FourPart FivePart SixPart SevenPart Eight, Part NinePart TenPart ElevenPart TwelvePart ThirteenPart FourteenPart FifteenPart SixteenPart Seventeen, Part Eighteen, Part Nineteen

Pennsylvania: the good ole state many of the founders of this country called home. Well, it’s where they decided this country was going to be a country, anyway. I was nowhere near there. Actually I was somewhere in Canada maybe four hours past the border above New York. It wasn’t just me because Roy was still with me. I honestly wasn’t sure how much longer the two of us were going to be together but I didn’t really see a reason why we had to separate. I enjoyed having the company and he was actually good at what we do.

The country up there is absolutely beautiful but I never ventured there that often. There was never that much activity outside the US so I never left. Plus I knew that Kelly’s agency extended outside the country and even across the sea. Oh yeah. I should probably tell you that I haven’t talked to Kelly since the whole incident where a lot of her agents died. I was sure she still wanted to bring me in and I can’t imagine that she and the rest of her agency is too happy about what happened.

Anyway, the town we wandered into was a small town with a lot of woods. We were there because there had been reports of disappearances and people seeing some strange stuff near an old mansion on the outskirts of the town in the middle of nowhere. I wasn’t sure what it was yet and I know what you’re thinking but I don’t believe that it is ghosts. I hoped it wasn’t, at least.

I had learned about the mansion because someone had been looking to restore the place but they had been having a lot of trouble due to the disturbances. The place was rumored to have been haunted for years but it was only recently that someone wanted to fix it up. I know all of this because I read it online, okay? The person that is restoring the place posted online looking for help. Given our background, Roy and I answered the ad. Most of the comments mocked the person, whose name is Rita, but we believed her. And more importantly, she believed us, which is silly because I lied. We posed as paranormal investigators by the names of Randy and Patrick, and we were there to cleanse the house of all evil spirits. Does this story sound familiar to you? I can’t put my finger on it.

Rita told us to meet her at a coffee shop in the middle of town and she was late.

“What time did she say?” Roy asked me as he took a sip of his coffee.

“She said nine,” I assured him.

“AM or PM?”

“AM, jerk.”

“Just checking, Harry.” Some of you may get that. Dumb and Dumber when Harry tells Lloyd to meet the girl at the restaurant for drinks at 10 in the morning and then realizes that it was 10 at night but he was actually lying the whole time because he was actually meeting with her. That was a mouthful. Just dropping some knowledge on you. If you haven’t seen that movie then you disappoint me severely.

“How’s the coffee?” I asked him.

“Terrible, but it gets the job done,” he replied. “You don’t drink coffee?”

“Don’t need it. I’m a paladin, remember.”

“You’re missing out.”

“Not really. It tastes terrible.”

It was around 9:15 when Rita finally showed up. She was a very plain looking woman with bleach blonde hair that was tied up in a bun. She was wearing a blue suit and looked like someone who always got what they wanted. There was a demanding look plastered on her face.

“Hello, Dave and Patrick,” she said, shaking our hands.

“Hello,” we replied in unison.

“Let’s get started. I want to make sure that the two of you are not just pretending and plan on stealing my money.”

“Ma’am,” I started, “we have been exorcising ghosts for a very long time.” I began to feed her a bunch of bull-crap about how we went to school for it and the extensive studies we had done. Honestly, I can’t even remember what I said. If I told her the truth then she would have sent us both packing.

“Good,” she said. “Now I need this done quickly. I can’t get anyone to work out there due to the…problems.”

“Fast is our middle names,” said Roy.

“I hope so. I would prefer for you to begin immediately.”

“So would we.”

“Now, there have been some problems during the day but most of the reports have been at night.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” I said.

“So you don’t mind spending the night?” she asked us.

We did. At least I knew that I did. We had no intentions of spending the night but in fact planned on dealing with the issue as quickly as possible.

“If that is what it comes to,” Roy responded.

“Let’s go then,” she demanded.

“Lead the way.”

We followed her outside to our cars, so we could go to the mansion. We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into…

Haunted House: Part One

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Posted by on August 25, 2014 in Haunted House


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