I couldn’t believe my eyes. I know that things had been weird lately and there had been a lot more monster activity, not to mention that I didn’t even know that dragons existed, but this was completely off the charts. After counting there were four different types of monsters and a little over 30 combined. There were the ogres. Those guys were nothing like Shrek. They are kind of like trolls but smaller with more muscle, and they were a lot smarter. But their faces are just as ugly. Then there were some basilisks. Those monsters aren’t exactly as you would think. They are snakelike but they’re humanoid, so they can speak and have some intelligence—only some. And never look them in the eye directly. No. It’s not like in Harry Potter where they will kill you but they will drain any bit of happiness right out of you. Yes, I do know about Harry Potter. They are average height and thin, and they have fins on their head like a cobra and they are extremely quick. The third monsters were Minotaurs, which are pretty self-explanatory but for those of you who don’t know half man, half bull. The last on the list of monsters at this giant meeting were trolls. Luckily I didn’t see the head female troll I ran into last time. For reference please refer back to Under the Bridge.
It looked like they were having some sort of conversation. It seemed that they were getting along but my guess was they were arguing over dominance. My money was on the basilisks. They might be the smallest of the bunch but they were quick and strong. However, I didn’t want to stick around to find out. Roy was 100 percent right, I wasn’t going to be able to do this by myself. I was going to have to bite the bullet and call Kelly.
I turned around and walked down the mountain, away from the large crowd of monsters. I was one minute down the hill when I felt something sting my in the back on my right shoulder blade. That sting was a blade that a basilisk shoved into me. I know, I should have heard the thing coming a mile away. Did I mention that they were way too quiet?
With what I would call amazing speed I spun around and took a swing at the human like snake, but missed. I was fast but it was faster. It came up at me again and tried to stab me in the left shoulder in the front. I blocked it and pushed it out of the way but it still managed to cut my shoulder a little bit. I kicked the thing in the chest and then back-flipped away from it. I quickly checked my shoulders and could see they were fine.
“Paladin,” the thing hissed. “We felt you coming the moment you entered thissss town.” Its tongue popped in and out of its mouth as it talked.
“I bet you did,” I replied. “I could smell you from three states over.”
“Mind your tongue.”
“You should really watch yours. Stick it out too far and you might accidentally eat a bug.”
The basilisk lashed out at me and tried to cut me again, but this time I was ready for it. He or she—so hard to tell—might be faster than me but I was a whole lot stronger. I grabbed its arm, flipped it over my head, and then slammed it into the ground. I knew that if I held on I had the upper hand so I didn’t let go of him and continued to slam it around. Right it might be a she, sorry. I didn’t let go of him/her.
I took the monster and pinned it against the tree, squeezing the life out of it.
“This is ironic, isn’t it?” I asked.
It gurgled something.
“I’m choking a snake,” I continued.
Oh, yes they have tails. It used its tail to wrap around my waist and tore me off of it. I rolled across the ground but eventually ended up on my feet.
“You cannot sssstop usssss,” it informed me.
“You know,” I began, “that isn’t the first time I’ve heard that.”
“It will be the lassssst.”
It moved toward me so fast that I barely had any time to react. I did, though. When it went to kick me I blocked its leg with mine and then, with my leg already in the air, I kicked the snake into a bush.
“Is this it?” I asked.
It slowly got up but didn’t say anything.
“A whole group of monsters and they send just one of you?”
The basilisk smiled.
I should have learned. I really should have learned. I felt something hit me in the back of the head and I fell down…