25 Apr

The Abominable Blizzard Part One


Part TwoPart ThreePart FourPart FivePart SixPart SevenPart EightPart NinePart Ten

Here I was again, stuck with the blood sucking monsters that live in the night. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, vampires. These things are probably the monsters that appear most frequently in this world. They are pretty much the bugs of the supernatural beings.

I was somewhere in the middle of Arizona or Nevada. I sort of lost track because it was somewhere near the state line. Anyway, I was following a lead—duh—and discovered that they were right in the middle of a town in the middle of nowhere, like usual.

I was outside a warehouse in a train yard somewhere on the outskirts of town and they were building an army just like before. I suppose I should tell you how I got here in the first place. Déjà vu anyone? I’m not going to bore you with the details so I will be quick about it. I got to the town I was currently in, did some investigating and found out there was vampires. Nothing else that I did really mattered.

“What are they doing in there?” Roy asked me. Oh yeah, right. Roy.

So get this. I show up in this rinky dink town and as I am asking questions I run into him. Turns out he’s a human that hunts monsters and he isn’t part of the agency Kelly works for. I don’t really know too much about him but it all seemed pretty typical: a monster kills his family and now he fights them. I wasn’t going to let him join me until someone started giving us trouble in the bar I found him in. He was incredibly jacked and took the guy down like he was nothing. I knew he could hold his own. I liked Roy. He had the same attitude I did. I could get used to working with him.

When we were leaving the bar he tried knocking me out, saying I was too young to go with him. He swung at my head but I quickly put him in his place. He was strong, though.

We’re back to the present now. I had just walked up to the window to look inside the warehouse and found myself standing next to Roy again.

“They’re turning people,” I answered him. “Building an army.”

“What do you mean?” Roy was confused. “Vampires don’t turn that many people. They usually eat them.”

“You weren’t kidding about hunting monsters.”

“No. I’ve been at this for 13 years.”

“That’s seven years longer than me.”

“See, you’re the rookie.”

“But I have a little bit of an advantage over you.”

“What’s that?”

“I’m better.” I didn’t tell him I was a paladin. I wasn’t really sure he would even know what that was. I decided that I wasn’t going to tell him what I was for now and keep that a secret.

“What would they be building an army for?” Roy asked.

“I ran into this before,” I explained. I stopped for a second and tried to decide if I wanted to tell him about what I knew. “The monsters are all building up to something.”

“I’ve sort of noticed that. Every time I’ve run into monsters there have been a lot more than usual.”

The one thing that confused me was that sometimes I had barely gotten out alive. How could he fight monsters and live? Steroids. It had to be steroids.

“Do you know why?” he asked me.

I flashed back to where the man with the hat had kicked the crap out of me after the yetis.

“Nope,” I said.

“It’s weird,” he replied.

“I agree.”

There was a moment of silence.

“How do you manage to survive in this world?” I asked him.

“How do you?” he asked back.

“Fair enough.”

There was a noise behind us. I turned around and was a little surprised to see what I saw. Sorry. That sounded redundant.

“Hairy,” I started, “how are ya?”

It was a werewolf…

Hairy and the Vampires: Part One

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Posted by on April 25, 2014 in Hairy and the Vampires


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